Convince Them You’re Right, and other ways to (not) fix broken relationships

There was a stretch of about five years when my partner and I would make every New Year’s resolution a commitment that this would be the year when we would make new friends. Having moved to Fort Collins after living in Denver for nearly fifteen years, with two young and busy kids, as well as full-time busy jobs – we were really good at making acquaintances and professional contacts. But the work of getting past the early stage and into real relationship felt like a mystery we couldn’t crack.  

Life often comes down to the quality of our relationships. How we are able to connect and belong, know and be known by others.We cannot be human alone.  

 And yet sustaining relationships, like in my own example (and that was before the global pandemic!)  is not easy, or automatic. No one gives us an instruction manual, despite it being a core practice of being human.  

Especially when we find places of tension, when trust is tested, when a disagreement feels like an insurmountable divide, and when relationships fracture, we flail.  We turn to the least helpful habits or instincts.  We react with defensiveness or avoidance, especially in these days where grief, anger, and anxiety are so heavy in our collective consciousness. 

Even if it wasn’t officially a part of your new year’s intentions this year, we could all use a relationship check-up – a chance to build that instruction manual we weren’t given but need now more than ever. 

This Sunday, January 9th, we’re kicking off our new series, Re-Assembly Required: A Beginner’s Guide to Relationship Repair & Renewal (and we’re all beginniners!). We’ll look at how to convince someone else you’re right and they are wrong…or maybe, why that’s exactly what not to do if you want to fix a relationship.

It’ll be our first Sunday back all online while we wait out the omicron surge (get your boosters!), so it’ll be a little reunion. Though we hope the change will be brief, there is something kind of sweet about all of us being back in our homes, reaching out in community from wherever we are. Remembering that even when the building is closed, as long as the people show up, the church remains open.  

In partnership and with love,

Rev. Gretchen